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Monday, April 18, 2011

4-18-11

i dont know what to say! i feel very repatative. it has been 9 months and i lost 87 or 88 lbs, as always its not the # but the journey!  it ALL has become 2nd nature to me the eatting the excersice etc....  ALL i know is that now its not about the weight its about the emotional side of it now the confidence the selfestem,  because whats my excuse now? i am not FAT(over weight), and this is something i need to deal with  as menioned before i feel like i am going down the same path and i refuse to do so. So my question now is how to gain that confidance? How to stop caring of what people think? i think is by spending time with Candelario, what am i about? to stop putting on mask  for other people to feel comfterable but to make candelario,
comfterable first so other people, around me can be to. I say that  because i am tired of being afraid, if i cant be comfterable with me, how can i be with others?  The answer is with GODs, guidance and grace because  not matter what he loves me, and wants the bes tfor me and ALL of us. In thebeginig  i say 9 months have gone by and thats how long it takes before a child is born. Connecting the dots i feel like i have been born again, With that said I want  surrender myself to GOD, and nothing/no one else if he wants me to have a relationship he will give 1 to me, if wants me to have a family he will give me 1.. What will i do for him?  serve and love those around me get out of my comfert Zone. Do what Zac and Fawn did for me, invest in others. Because its not about me, its about us.in the process i will get to know Candelario Garcia.

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